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these nightmares need to stop. i can't get any sleep anymore. my favorite activity has been shot for the time being...ugh.Nuværende humør:  awake |
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Winter, when will go you away?Nuværende humør:  cold Nuværende musik: jessica simpson |
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I AM SOOOO SICK OF STUDYING FOR FINALS THAT I AM NOW PISSED!Nuværende humør:  cranky Nuværende musik: i love my evil genious |
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i feel as if tomorrow is one of my most crucial days yet. its not just because it's 1217 am and i haven't even started studying for a 8 page essay final tomorrow, but for other reasons. it's such bullshit what has happened and what was going around. i guess i really didn't feel like talking to anyone besides a few people about it. i literally just started eating and sleeping right again. it's such a disappointment. but i am lifting my head up and only placing happy thoughts once more even though it is tough. and i came to the conclusion that i shouldn't have to give people reasons on why to believe me. people will believe what they want and that's just the way the world works sometimes. so the only way to get on with things is to keep a positive outlook and remain the better person. the end.
on a better note..i can't wait til christmas and until kristen comes home.Nuværende humør: stressed Nuværende musik: don't give it up now- collective soul |
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Take the quiz: "What do you love about making love?"
Love
You are a lover of love. You love to love and be loved. You are perhaps a hopeless romantic but those are rare nowadays. Think of it as a gift. Whether you are saving yourself for that special someone or you have already found him or her. You are part of an almost extinct species of human. The kind that believe in true love... Because love is truly beautiful!
i am disturbed by a certain someone who is with a certain someone that i highly do not approve of. why do you do this? |
| » Mother, you can't help me out on this one. |
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I'm about to become broken. i'm torn between 2 different sides of friendships. friends who love me and friends who have found a new hate for me. sweet. let me tell you how much this can really effect a person. i'm not sure if this was a cause of a boyfriend or if they are just to obsessed with their own. or if their new life is too powerful to overcome their old. i just need to breathe and look around and realize who wants to be apart of my life and who doesn't.
21. Aug., 2004 @ 11:03
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| » nonsense |
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went out for milkshakes with my brother tonight. we listened to incubus the whole way to and from the place. it made me miss a really good friend.
i called you over 4th of july. no answer. it was on your cellphone.
Oh Kristen
2. Aug., 2004 @ 21:44
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| » iiiiiiiii-hate-thissss |
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I don't like the fact that my boyfriend is drinking with my ex-boyfriend the one who cheated on me and hanging out with the same type of girls my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with yeah thats right my boyfriend is hanging out with those same type of girls as i type i don't trust i'm sad to say eventhough he is a good guy but these girls are easy i will not sleep well tonight somebody somebody
4. Jun., 2004 @ 00:35
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| » with papa |
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first night in heaven
18. Apr., 2004 @ 22:32
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| » Time For An Update |
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Okay, so we talked about everything last night. Came to the conclusion that 99% of what his friend says are lies. It really is true too. I notice it all the time. Finally everything is situated. I guess that is what happens after everything starts to build up without ventilating.
I've been doing a lot of thinking during the long shifts at work and spacing off time in school. I've came to a few conclusions.
1) Don't always believe the people you trust the most
2) When you found something/someone that is really good in your life, to not take it for granted
3) Enjoy my free time and just be a teenager
4) Watch your back
5) How I miss Kristen and Shannon
6) That maybe I need to find a new job so i can work day shifts instead of nights during the school year
7) That I most likely cannot afford to live in Indy with my sister eventhough I want to so bad
8) Not to gunrod my car, keeps costing me money
9) Study more
10) Just be me
9. Apr., 2004 @ 09:50
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| » not today |
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i fucking hate this competition for your attention you tell him everything and anything yesterday really upset me infact, that put an uprise to a lot of emotions i'm fed up with you and your gay ass friend i love you and i would like to stay with you, but i'm on a string that can barely hold anymore weight and when i bring this up to you, you get pissed, ignore me, say i'm wrong, ask why i make you choose between me and your friend..it's not even like that you don't see my point of view, only yours this is a reason why i want to leave i want to go so far away i'll get over this, once again, and once again i'll look at this post after talking to you and buying into on how i was wrong once more and wish i didn't type this all out or waste time on it i seem to only post when i'm upset it's a good way of ventilating plus i only have a few poeple who truly read this and know me well enough to comprehend on how i feel and what i say i just want summer to come and hopefully things will become better i'm not depressed so don't get me wrong it's just time for a bit of a change okay time to go sew my pants
8. Apr., 2004 @ 11:39
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| » question whether this should of been typed |
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okay so now you sit back lie, twist shit, and talk more shit behind my back. i did/would do anything for you, and this is how you repay me. this has been going on for a couple years now. i don't think i can take it anymore. true friends don't do that to one another. i can't wait til my two TRUE friends come back from college. i was just trying to help you with situations in your life and everything had to be spun up and strangled this way. i'll pry regret thinking this way eventually, but as for now, it just fits the perfect disappointment you've made. so i'll wait til it's the right time to tell you this or i will just never say it.
19. Feb., 2004 @ 07:17
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| » i dislike at the moment |
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why are you trying to get me to cut my hair? i hate the fact that you don't like it, especially since i think this is my best feature.
i don't like the fact that you get drunk and mumble about how you want to see me again and that my cousin is living with you. what exactly are you trying to get at?
i miss my friends. i miss them so much.
11. Feb., 2004 @ 21:32
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| » friend |
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i'm starting to not like you
i barely know you anymore
27. Jan., 2004 @ 00:59
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| » shitty night |
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I almost did it
I don't think I could of asked for a worse night
Made a very bad impression
10. Jan., 2004 @ 23:00
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| » for those of you.. |
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so now that your friends are back in town, we aren't friends? i'm not saying that are friendship has came to an end, but we barely hang out. we went from seeing eachother at all times to barely even talking on the phone. you tell me what is going on.
oh and thanks, it just sometimes bothers me how your boyfriend takes all your time. i saw you what...2 or 3 times for an hour each this break out of a whole month?? i do understand how you love him and he is an awesome guy and deserves your time, but i would like to hang out with you to. he's not the only one who loves you and wants to see you.
i wish i would of went sledding with you. i should appreciate the fact that we are still talking and that you want to hang out after all this time. thanks.
once it hits 11pm thats when action should hit. nope. thats when people come back and the night comes to an end.
i'm done now.
10. Jan., 2004 @ 00:26
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| » a little odd?? |
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26. Dec., 2003 @ 08:35
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| » TO JASON: |
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I'm sorry for not calling and sleding with you. I was truly busy til 11. You aren't mad, are you??? I promise we'll do it soon if there is snow.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
25. Dec., 2003 @ 19:18
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| » now what |
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night is ending in a very odd note
just so happy thanksgiving will be here
my best friends back
if saturday night wasn't as good as it was, i wouldn't even have to make up my mind
sleep..sleep
25. Nov., 2003 @ 00:39
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